Blank....

I am trying to think. I am staring at the screen. I am trying to recall the questions. Just out of reach. Sigh.

I have decisions to take. The choice of moving on is hard. The choice of waiting is harder still. Even if I choose to move on, would I be able to? Who will fill my heart again? Would I see hope once more?

Why do I keep waiting? Will the past turn its back and hold my hand again? Will the present stop turning into inconsequential bits of future? Will the future wait until it becomes the past once more?

Why am I writing this? Whom do I need to tell? What is there to tell, anyway? Would anyone understand?

I feel angry. It feels strangely good. As if life hasn't deserted me afterall.

I feel trapped. Can see the way out. I have tried it before. But I have no strength.

I feel numb. I can see the smile draining. I am watching anxious faces. I smile. I have no pain.

I feel happy. Blood rushing through my veins. Spirit soaring. Everything is sunny. I have forgiven. I have given myself a chance, again. My heart is full of hope. The sun is oozing warmth..life. I feel whole. I am singing a song.

I know the song will end, the sun will hide, the rain will come back. But I'll breathe on. May be I'll be whole. May be I'll see reason someday. May be my eyes would laugh again. May be I'll keep waiting.

May be. Just may be...

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